Living on the Edge

I'm not going to sugar coat it, life is hard some days.  It seems that I can't ever have four happy or satisfied children at the same time.  Every day we think the bank is going to be ready to set our closing date on our construction loan and every day they realize they need more information or something else signed.  I guess I should say that life is frustrating.  It's rare that everything goes the way you want it to and I understand that it's not going to but some days it just seems like nothing works the way I thought it would.  This week alone (and it's only Tuesday!) the bank has put us off twice, Rachel has had a sick visit to the doctor to find out what caused her face to swell up so much that she couldn't open her left eye, Rachel's tooth refuses to come out and makes her belly hurt with anxiety that she'll swallow it, Allen has been sick, Baxter is STILL teething and not sleeping, Ford wants to rush through schoolwork, and Ruby wants to hit/kick/throw when she's mad.  We've had some rough moments!  That's when I have to stop and remind myself of our blessings and our good fortune.  Allen and I have four beautiful, talented, happy, healthy children.  We have a place to live while we get our house built, we have food to eat, we have awesome activities for our children to be involved in, and we're going to make it just fine.  It's hard not to wish ourselves into the future and be in our own place with our own things.  In fact, it drives me crazy every.single.day, but I have to stop and enjoy this time because we'll never have it again.  It's exciting that Baxter is cruising around the furniture and dancing to music.  I love that Ruby is going to ballet and art.  Ford is so proud to be a helper in his art class and to be on a "real" soccer team.  Rachel impresses me every day with her knowledge and her abilities.  I love these kids unconditionally forever and I'm so proud to be their Mama...just have to remind myself when I get to the edge and need to breathe and take a step back.